Fresh post... well from last night. First time.

I just drove 3 hours back from Burgundy into Geneva. Very lucky, the kids were fast asleep in the back and I had Lady GaGa and Pink blaring into the i-phone so all in all it was calm and I could concentrate on the road and just a little bit , in a corner of my mind on what lays ahead, in my head, sort out the good, the bad and the ugly. We made good time, so naturally now they are both playing in their bedroom when in fact they should be fast asleep. School. Kindergarden. Tomorrow is another week.

I am 45, i have two kids, a daughter that just turned 5 and a little boy that just turned 16 months. Both born on the same day. I am incredibly lucky that I got pregnant without too too much trouble in my 40's. I am also incredibly lucky that I met the man I love when I was 39 and that after coughing up a small fortune in therapy for 3 years prior i was able to open my eyes to the man that was in front of me. I got pregnant, then we fell in love, then we tried for another baby, then we decided to adopt, then to get married, then I got pregnant again, then we married, then we moved in together.
So in the end, both our set of parents are relieved, although i will admit that we did do everything according to plan, just not in the usual order.
And so now. I have been living for a year in Geneva, I am 45. I am in love, I have two cool kids that are beautiful and funny.
So when I read the article on Friday about women depression and started to cry, it took me a while to admit that I am in fact - depressed.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/apr/29/women-depression-allison-pearson
it was quite a shock to admit that I am possibly not well.
Then I picked up the phone and started to track down a shrink. A good one. So good luck to me as I await for one to return my call.
I cry often and then berate myself for doing so, I know I am lucky, that I am the experiment gone right and that many many women would give their right tit and probably a front tooth as well for good measure to be in my shoes. So why do I feel so sad?
Last night, in my sleep I thought of doing a blog to try to figure it out, and also to pass on great recipes.
One thing I am sure of right now. I cook well.
a bientot
b